You'll find more adventure in your X-box

I felt like I was in the midst of a third rate video game slaying giant woolly mammoths, escaping flying ostriches and braving saber-tooth tigers in a pre-historic era all to be hero for a day.

Set in a computer-enhanced world where icy tundra abruptly turns into tropical jungle and then dry desert, I couldn't help but question the historical accuracy of 10,000 B.C. I mean, really, what tribe in 10,000 B.C. spoke English and why doesn't anyone from the same clan look alike? Aren't they supposed to have the same ethnic background? Just because writer and director Roland Emmerich (The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day) chose to have a diverse cast (actors hailed from Asia, Latin America, India and Africa) doesn't mean his film would be innovative - rather, it came out disjointed and distractingly illogical.

Driven by an oversimplified, cliché plot of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy undertakes heroic adventure to regain girl, 10,000 B.C. tells the story of young hunter, D'Leh (Steven Strait), who treks across the globe, defeats four-legged beasts and confronts gods to save the blue-eyed beauty, Evolet (Camilla Belle).

On his journey, D'Leh discovers that the world is far more vast than he once believed - including the shocking realization that people other than his tribe are inhabiting the Earth. He also discovers that he is destined to save civilization, and his already simplified character expands into an unbelievable world savior.

Emmerich tried to pull off the fantastic, but this time, I think he might have gone too far. Watching D'Leh's journey, I wondered how he could conquer such a vast wilderness on foot in what seemed to be such a short period of time without showing the signs of aging. Sure, for Emmerich it was easy - he just hopped on a plane for his shots of New Zealand, Cape Town, South Africa and Namibia, but D'Leh didn't have that luxury.

More than the logistics, the writing is oversimplified and ends up sounding cheesy. Unlike Emmerich's other films, 10,000 B.C. is merely a collection of legends and myths thrown together to create a plot. Trying to cover too many things at once, the director ends up sacrificing the storyline.

Not even the softest softie would find this film's cliché lines sentimental or pleasing. I plead with Emmerich, just satisfy the video game feel and cut the cheese already.

With nothing to draw me in to the wannabe adventure, my mind started to wander. Planning what I would have for dinner and distracted by the glow of cell phones as the audience began to check the time, I wanted D'Leh to hurry up and rescue Evolet.

Whether they lived happily ever after or not didn't really matter. By the time the final credits rolled, I too had realized my destiny. D'Leh might have been destined to save civilization, but I had a much more important inclination: I was destined to see this rotten movie and warn my peers to save their $8.50.